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The Baby Shower's Kit
Scenario: Expecting or new mother writes
a letter to her child to be received when the child is age 7-15. (Instead of writing a letter to your unborn child,
you may want to save the kit until the baby is born. This tends to help people who need a solid mental image in order to direct
their thoughts. Either way, the goal of the letter remains the same, to reveal as much of yourself as you possibly can.)
The first task is to decide on the age when
the child will receive the letter. This will determine how much and which aspects of yourself you'll attempt to reveal.
Has losing teeth become a central focus? Are they in middle-school or beginning high school? Try to imagine them at a specific age and jot down on a scrap piece of
paper all of the details that you associate with that age. Write down words that would describe you and any of your childhood
friends at that age. Think of childhood stories. The temptation
might be to write a letter in which you describe your anticipation or excitement about the baby's eventual arrival. We
suggest that you allow yourself some room to do this, but we suggest that you address a subject that's sure to fascinate
your child: you. The child who
reads this letter will probably be from 8 to 15 years-old, and while reading about how excited you are is sort of cool, it
is not as interesting as a description of your life as a child or your life right now. Talk about where you're living, what you're doing for a job.
What does the house look like? Try to be as specific as you can. Take some time to describe your current home, using all of
your senses. Describe a walk that you take or some friends that you have. What season is it and how does the season make you
feel? Tell a story from your own childhood,
something that happened to you at about the same age your child will be when he/she reads the letter. Try to recall an episode
that might even connect with your child, such as a time when you were nervous about getting up in front of a group of people
(if your child will be 10) or perhaps describe a friendship you had when you began high school (if your child will be 14,
15, etc.) The point is
that you want to try and expose as much of you real self as you can. As a parent you spend plenty of time trying to make the
world look ordered and consistent for your child, but there is nothing more impacting on a child of any age as when they recognize,
even for an instant, that you are a human being with feelings and emotions and troubles as well. If you're brave, make predictions about how life will go, what the
child might or might not like doing. How do you envision their temperament? (This could provide everyone with a good laugh
in the future, comparing reality to your best guesses.) What does having a child mean to you? Try to go as deep as you can, write down things that you might
not feel comfortable saying aloud. Remind the child of how much you love them. Who knows, perhaps this little jolt of true
love will come into your child's life at just the right moment. Give your child a glimpse into your current life.
A List of Possible Subjects A childhood memory
that changed your perspective on life. Telling a story in a letter is always a great way to make the letter very very interesting.
Did you have siblings? Tell a story
about them-refer to them as the uncle and aunts that the child will come to know. A story about your parents, about what you loved about school and what
you hated about school. Your favorites—foods,
movies, books, places, gifts, etc.
How I met your father. What the wedding day was like. Any pets or animals you had growing up, and any that you might have in
the future. Activities that
you loved, your favorite games. What will the
child's name be? List some of the options, if they are not yet born or tell the story of how they were named. You and your relationship with the tooth
fairy, easter bunny and Santa Claus. Your biggest
fear about becoming a mother. Your greatest
hope. List a few of your personal quirks
or habits.
Final Thoughts DO NOT TRY AND
WRITE THE PERFECT LETTER—It doesn't exist. Try to write as if you were speaking, as naturally as possible. If you want, sketch an outline of the few topics you want to cover and then just start
writing. Our personalities are often better revealed in the way we write rather than what we say. Resist the impulse to talk down to your child. You don't need to use vocabulary
that will be out of their realm, but you should try to sound natural and conversational—talk to your future child as
if they are a mature comprehending creature. As you write, think of your child as a close friend of yours.
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