The Wedding Vows Kit

Scenario: Wife and Husband write a letter to each other, to be sent to them on their 5^th, 10^th, 15^th, or any anniversary in between.

Writing Tips

1. It may seem like a good idea to spend the majority of the letter detailing how you think the future will turn out. Making predictions or describing possible situations that you might be in at the time you receive the letter. Resist this urge. While a few comments about what may be going on in the future can be interesting, for the most meaningful impact, you should focus on describing your life as it is right now.
2. Whether the wedding was a major ordeal or not, you have most likely been spending a good amount of time dealing with the preparations. Focus on presenting or just participating in, a major event can take up the majority of a person's attention. One purpose of Sent From The Past is to give you each an opportunity to stop and reflect and capture your state of mind, or the state of relationship as it is right now. This means keeping your focus on the present and recent past.
3. Rather than list hopes and dreams, spend a good amount of time, trying to express how you feel about your new partner. You might bring up some specific episode that brought you both together. Focus on your relationship, describe how it has progressed and write down your thought process throughout. You may think that certain events or episodes will always be remembered by you or your spouse, but they won't. So write them down. What you are doing is capturing your perspective, your view of how things have gone, or how they are right now.
4. For example-- “We have a nice house with a dog and a cat and probably two kids by now. I am a counselor and you are probably still in school...” may be slightly interesting to read in the future, but consider this alternative, “The first time I met you I thought you were a stuck-up jerk. It wasn't until someone dumped that pitcher of beer over your head that I knew you had a good sense of humor.”
5. The key is to focus in on your impressions. Start by describing where and how you met; go slowly, trying to capture details—Where was your mind at in those days? What were you most passionate/concerned about? How did you first react to meeting this person? Where was it and what was your initial impression? Did that change? How and why did it change?
6. Try to write down as much about your first impressions as possible. We all have first impressions, and mostly they change, but we rarely capture them. Write them down, you'll be glad you did.
7. Does the letter have to be entirely full of lovey-dovey reminiscence? We suggest that you take some time to seriously address your feelings, maybe even your fears about marriage in general. Remember, expressing your feeling about the event of 'marriage' is not a criticism of your partner. You're trying to be real about your anxieties. Do a brief analysis of your relationship.
8. What do you have in common? What personal quirks do you and your partner have? What do you think makes your partner happiest about life? This is an area where you might consider making a few guesses about your partner, but instead of speculating about their future job, try to write down some of the personality traits they currently have. What is their life goal? What is their biggest challenge? What is their passion or obsession? After detailing your relationship path, spend some time focused only on your partner.
9. Lastly, make promises that you intend to keep. Try to be as specific as you can. How do you intend to help make the relationship work? What do you hope your partner will do? Send a special, tender message, speaking directly to your partner and try your best to capture your feelings for them. Take as much space as necessary, compare you feelings to other things, other sensations, try to connect with the version of them ten years from now as they hold your letter in their hand.